Life Afterwards

I’ve told my story. I’ve seen it hundreds of times in flashbacks. Now it’s been over 18 months since the first time I told my story. I’m still healing, but now I know I’ll be able to be happy again. I’ve seen glimpses of happiness in the last 3 months. I am now independent. I am now my own self and have the right to my own body. Believe me, I still get scared. I know there will always be that scared feeling but that’s because I’m protecting myself. Now I make my own living. I’m not afraid to see the path ahead of me. I see marriage and kids and a future. In the last 18 months I’ve learned that change does happen. I didn’t finish college but I still have a full time job. I didn’t finish the major I worked on but now I know I want to do art and accounting. Who knows what will happen next…
So this is the end to my blog. Thank you to all my followers and I hope I helped you. Rape and domestic violence is a terrible thing. I know my life goal is to help survivors out there. I want to help them have a voice! Hopefully one day we won’t need to be scared anymore. Remember survivors out there, you’re strong! I know I am!

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Happy New Year!

Happy New Year everyone! Hope everyone has a safe and healthy New Year. Everyone I know is sick right now so I’m just hiding in my room or downstairs away from everyone.  I kind of want to bubble wrap myself – I guess it’s one of my anxieties but oh well.

I met with my new therapist and she seemed helpful. I know it takes awhile to get used to a new therapist, but I feel like I can trust her.  I am going to let her read my story on this blog to give her some background information.  I guess you can say I’m a bit nervous, because I did have a bad therapist, but she does seem helpful already.  I might try EMDR, but for now I’m going to try CBT.  For anyone struggling with anxiety and depression – I know your pain. It’s not easy.  Anyway, hope you all got to celebrate the New Year!

Fighting depression

Depression is hard. One day I’ll be my happy cheery self and the next I’ll be upset. Today is one of those days where I don’t want to get out of bed.  I just wish it would go away because I’m normally a happy cheery person.  I wish I could always be that person, but I know I have to fight it.  I just wish that it wasn’t so hard at times.  I know that I’m not alone though. If you have depression – you’re not alone either.  Just remember that tomorrow might be a day where you’re happy again. That’s what I tell myself.