It is said that every two minutes someone is raped. I was one of those women at one time. It happened 7 times a week. It happened for a year. I grew tired and stopped fighting. Then, one day I rose. I realized I was sick of being tired. Two years ago today would have been the day that I made the biggest mistake. The day that I said yes to my rapist. I did not know that within 3 months he would rape me. I never thought I could have a mistake as big as this one, but I realize now I am strong. I’ve heard the saying that things happen for a reason. I realize that I am here to help those.
A year ago today, I was sitting at dinner with him. It was the first time I realized I was scared. I didn’t know why I was scared. I realize now I was scared of commitment. I was scared that the commitment would end my life. It almost did – but I escaped!
I’m a survivor!
I found this on a social media website today and I instantly thought yes. I realize now when I cry, it’s not because of him. He’s not the reason I’m upset. I’m upset because of all the times I thought I could help him and I blamed myself when I couldn’t. I cry because a part of me was destroyed while trying to help him. I talked myself into believing that I created a monster because I became intimate with him and shared my feelings with him. Maybe I did, but now I know it wasn’t my fault. His actions are his fault. I’ve been told not to let this ruin my life. It ruined a part of me – the part of innocence and I can’t get that back.
I won’t let him ruin me. I won’t cry over him. I cry over what I’ve lost. That’s why I left!
I realize that this month is domestic violence awareness month. I have been in a domestic violence relationship as you know. When I told, I realized that there are people out there. I got help and I got away from him. It is possible to get away from them. I know a lot of people are afraid to break away from the person because they are their support or they have children with them, but know that your safety is what’s important. Make sure you’re safe! It took me too long to realize that I wasn’t safe, but now I know I am. I will forever be thankful for the support I have from everyone in my family. I’m sorry for everyone that goes through this and it has to stop!