Nightmares are back…

I’ve been having nightmares recently. They went away for awhile or I just haven’t noticed them as much. I’ve been sleeping my normal 8-10 hours a night, but sometimes I’ll wake up in the middle of the night feeling a bit panicky.  Last night, I think I was screaming because my puppy started barking at 1 in the morning.  It was hailing outside too, but I remember my dream and it would explain that I might have been screaming.

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Sleep…

For the first few months, I did not sleep. I remember going to bed at 7 am and waking up at 8 am.  I remember running on adrenaline because whenever I did sleep it wasn’t restful. Nightmares and flashbacks would haunt me.  This happened from December until April.  Actually, it happened while I was with my ex. I remember lying awake because I was too afraid to sleep. He told me he’d rape me in my sleep and I guess my mind was too afraid of that.  Therefore, I never slept.

I remember those nights where I sit there counting sheep. My mind was running with thoughts and a panic attack would come.  Nights were filled with panic.

I realize now that it’s what happens when you’ve been raped. You don’t sleep. If you do sleep, you’re truly lucky.  Insomnia like that is a sign of trauma. I realize now, that I’m finally healing. I can sleep again! I slept 10 hours last night. I sleep a lot now to catch up on the sleep I missed. I still have bad dreams, but they’re not deadly.  They come and go. The other night I had a dream like 911 where planes were coming at me in New York City. I managed to get to a working airport and instead of going home, I ended up in Japan.  That’s one of my not so horrible nightmares.

I sleep the most when I’m sick. That’s how I started sleeping again. I wore myself down.

Whoever said sleep was your friend, lied. It wasn’t my friend at that point in my life – it was my worst enemy.

Found something that works!

My parents have been running out of options. I’ve been a mess. I go to bed at 5 am because of insomnia.  I have so many aches and pains and migraines that never go away. So my mom heard from a friend about this acupuncturist place. Apparently she’s under our insurance plan so we don’t have to pay! Anyway I think it started working! I am now having less headaches and going to bed at 12! I didn’t think it would work. I know most people don’t believe in this kind of medicine, but it can help with so much! Don’t be afraid to try something new! Cheers to nights that I can sleep!