Life Afterwards

I’ve told my story. I’ve seen it hundreds of times in flashbacks. Now it’s been over 18 months since the first time I told my story. I’m still healing, but now I know I’ll be able to be happy again. I’ve seen glimpses of happiness in the last 3 months. I am now independent. I am now my own self and have the right to my own body. Believe me, I still get scared. I know there will always be that scared feeling but that’s because I’m protecting myself. Now I make my own living. I’m not afraid to see the path ahead of me. I see marriage and kids and a future. In the last 18 months I’ve learned that change does happen. I didn’t finish college but I still have a full time job. I didn’t finish the major I worked on but now I know I want to do art and accounting. Who knows what will happen next…
So this is the end to my blog. Thank you to all my followers and I hope I helped you. Rape and domestic violence is a terrible thing. I know my life goal is to help survivors out there. I want to help them have a voice! Hopefully one day we won’t need to be scared anymore. Remember survivors out there, you’re strong! I know I am!

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Sexual Assault Awareness Month

This month is sexual assault awareness month.  I would like to let everyone know about sexual assault. As you all know, I experienced it. Most people don’t know how to respond when someone tells you they’ve been assaulted. Truth is, we just want you to listen, understand, not judge, and be there.  That is usually all.  Most of us are judged. I have been told it was my fault so many times.  People have said the most stupid things to me.  I’ve lost friends.  I found out who my real friends were and I thank them for being there for me through good times and bad and will always be there for them too!

Sexual assault is painful. It’s a loss of control and we feel powerless.  It’s not something we want and we cannot say otherwise.  It’s not about the physical pain during though – it’s about the aftermath. The aftermath and the years of therapy thanks to someone’s needs. It takes awhile to learn to be yourself and happy again.  Whether you block it out or not, It’s still there. The powerless feeling will haunt you.

So to all those survivors out there, know it’s not your fault. It’s their fault. The ones who did this to you.  You didn’t deserve to be hurt.  You are a survivor and you are strong! Hang in there! There is recovery and there is hope whether we see it or not!